Archive - Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

Man uses piece of wood he put in his garage in 1982 'because it might come in handy'

Despite his wife telling him to throw it away, Gary kept the piece of wood because he thought it might come in handy in the future

Jan 9 • Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

Obesity linked to eating too much shit

Boffins have concluded that eating too much shit makes you fat fucker

Jan 7 • Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

Breakfast radio DJs told to stop being so fucking happy

Critics have complained that sounding so happy about life so early in the morning is unnatural, and should be banned

Jan 5 • Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

A man buys a car, a heroic dog, plus your guide to New Year's resolutions

Your weekly round-up from Grumpy Fuckers HQ

Jan 4 • Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

Here's your 15% store discount code for January

Sorry. We were so hungover, we forgot to send the fucker yesterday.

Jan 2 • Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

The Grumpy Fuckers Guide to New Year’s Resolutions

Tired of January already? Here's how to survive the shitty first month of 2026

Jan 2 • Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

December 2025

Dog’s barking saves owner from murder by 13 postmen, 46 bin men and 103 cyclists

Rufus has scared away would-be murderers from the house with his yapping and hollering

Dec 31, 2025

Man buys a car to go to work to pay for car

Freddy Fuckwit bought his second-hand car yesterday so that he could get to his new job so that he could pay for his second-hand car

Dec 29, 2025 • Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

A vanishing teenager, intelligence, and dickhead vegans

Your weekly round-up from Grumpy Fuckers HQ

Dec 28, 2025 • Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

97% people who go vegan do so to be awkward fucks

The study showed that vegans are apparently morally superior to the rest of the population

Dec 26, 2025 • Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

Dear Ethel: Why hasn't Santa been to my house?

Rachel from Birmingham has a problem. Only Ethel can help.

Dec 25, 2025 • Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

Grumpiness linked to higher intelligence

The study showed that those who have an IQ of 140 or more were the grumpiest fuckers known to mankind

Dec 24, 2025 • Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

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